Walking with Jesus

My Walk with Jesus

When my problems seem bigger than mountains, God gives me His peace and tells me not to lean on my own understanding.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

*I walk with Jesus.*

When my heart aches from the sting of pain and betrayal, God comes to restore my broken heart and makes it new. 

He says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

*I walk with Jesus.*

When I am troubled by worldly things and feel fearful, God comes to remind me that this world is not my home.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.''  John 10:10

He tells me, "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

He knows "...the whole world is under the control of the evil one." 1 John 5:19

*I walk with Jesus.*

When it feels as though my circumstances offer little or no hope, God reminds me that hope and plans to prosper me are found in Him. They are His promises which He has written for my life.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

*I walk with Jesus.*

When my mind and thoughts are infested with confusion, God reveals to me what is in my heart and enables the Holy Spirit to cleanse my mind of ungodly things.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." Romans 8:1

"Godly sorrow brings repentenance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Corinthians 7:10
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2
"...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5
"...For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34

*I walk with Jesus.*

When I am given a gift and am blessed continuously by God, He reminds me of just how much I am loved- that He would give His only Son for my soul, that He would put aside Himself for sinful me.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

*I walk with Jesus.*

When He provides me with what I need each and every day, He reminds me to live in the day's glory and splendor, focusing not on what tomorrow will bring but on the blessings held in the present day.

"So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all of these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-33

*I walk with Jesus.*

When He lifts my spirit in times of great despair, He reminds me to seek Him out, to talk with Him, to be with Him, to find peace and solace.  

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

*I walk with Jesus.*

When He calls me to provide counsel and minister to others, He reminds me that I am wonderfully made. I am made in His image, to be glorious for Him and to let His light shine through me.

"And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." Romans 8:30

"...let your light shine before men..." Matthew 5:16

"...you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..." Philippians 2:15-16
"But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it." Ephesians 4:7
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God." 1 Peter 4:10-11

*I walk with Jesus.*

When He gives me His strength in my exhaustion, He reminds me how much I need Him to sustain me. I am humbled that I have a Savior I can go to who will listen, love and speak to me.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

"Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler." Proverbs 6:4-5

*I walk with Jesus.*

When I walk with Jesus...

My mindset is different. I live fully alive. I become the me I want to be.

I live the life God intended me to live.

*I walk with Jesus.*

*And I am different because of it.*

God's Perfect Timing

"O our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."

2 Chronicles 20:12

 

Have you ever had one of those moments when you don't know what to do (aka you're stuck between a rock and a hard place)? You want to do the right thing. Your heart is in a good place. But, you're not sure where God is calling you or why He continues to allow you to struggle through something?

 

It's tempting to become so frustrated and allow hopelessness to sink in. I think one of the devil's most effective strategies is through our thoughts. A thought sneaks in that is less than cheerful and uplifting to the soul. Left unchecked and left to linger this thought festers within. Once in, it then opens the doors for other untruthful thoughts to sneak in. And, before you know it, the doors open wide and untruthful thoughts are no longer 'sneaking in' but are in fact walking straight on in as if they were meant to be there. It doesn't take long before these untruthful thoughts take up residence and do what they do best - wreak havoc.

 

It happens subtly at first, as the thoughts casually meander in. But before you know it there is a full on out pity party taking place within you head. It becomes so crowded in there that there's no room for the truth. In order for the truth to enter in something has to leave (or rather be kicked out). And so, just as the lies and negative thoughts took up residence over time, so must they come out through the process of refinement. They must be exposed - each and every one of them - and then healed.

 

Some of these lies we have allowed in have taken a lifetime to build, and thus will require time (and the healing hand of the Lord) to evacuate. The good news is - we can be free from them! When we ask God to expose them He does. He then helps us to see them for what they are - lies from the devil meant to hold us captive. The only way to freedom from them is through God. The only way.

 

And this is not exactly an easy process. There is struggle in the process, in the journey. There is pain. There are tears. But, it is the only way to freedom. How long God keeps us in one of these refining periods, I believe, is as He sees we need. His perfect timing. His ways, not mine.

 

I think of where I am right now. I want to say to God, "Okay, thanks for the lesson, God. I've had about enough now. I think I get what you're trying to teach me. But, I've about had all I can handle now. Are we good then?" I feel God has taught me much on my journey as a SP - unconditional love, self-sacrifice, patience, forgiveness, self-control, gentleness and kindness. So, naturally then, I ponder what else could He be trying to teach me through all this (yes, to some of you the answer to this question is quite clear)? Still there is more?! And then He reminds me refinement is a process. God's process. His perfect timing.

 

It finally dawned on me (so sometimes I'm "slow" but I blame it on the sleep deprivation) that God continues to teach me faithfulness and trust. I often wonder how much longer the sleepless nights will continue (my 11 month old still does not sleep through the night and my 3 year old wakes up just about every night). There is no explanation that I'm able to get up the next morning (and by the look of me you'd probably shout out a 'Lord have mercy! This mama gonna need lots of that mercy today!'). But God continues to pull me through this. I'm not dragging my sails at work (for the most part). I'm actually accomplishing things. He is my strength. Of this, I'm sure!

 

Daily, He shows me how faithful He is and that He's not forsaken me to go out and do this all alone. Trust. Faithfulness is a journey. We build our faith when we trust in God along, in,and during the journey. Our struggles produce faithfulness. And, yet, another thing I've learned through SPing. And, I'm awestruck by Jesus' majesty. He's teaching me how to be and live like Him by being a SP. He's developing the Fruits of the Spirit within me. And I'm honored, humbled, amazed, awestruck that He has chosen sinful me - that He loves me so much that He wants me to be like Him - to witness for Him. What a privilege! What a gift!

 

 

Wait Upon the Lord

 

My Lord tells me to wait upon Him alone.

And great blessings will reign down from the throne.

 

I come before You with the needs that are in my heart.

Holy Spirit, come and dwell within and never from me depart.

 

I will look to You to fulfill me in every way.

Set Thy perfect Will within me - this I pray.

 

Daily You show me Your mercy and grace.

And through Your power give joy to live in this earthly place.

 

Let my life be an instrument for You -

To witness in love and do as You do. 



Grace

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

Romans 10: 9-11

As a SP, the topic of grace is so near and dear to my heart. I'm so thankful for God's incredible gift of grace. If you don't, first of, understand that God is a loving and forgiving God this thing called grace may be easily lost. If you don't see yourself as a sinner who makes countless mistakes and is in need of constant forgiveness, grace may continue to be a nebulous concept (Romans 3:23).

As a SP (and as a human being), I am so in need of God's constant grace. I can be doing great one minute...The sun is shining. Inside my home the thermometer reads a pleasant 75 degrees. There is so much joyous laughter that its source cannot be determined, because it appears to pour out from every room of the house. And, then, in a matter of moments things can deteriorate quickly. A dark cloud appears covering the radiance of the sun, the thermometer rises to a steamy 85 degrees and laughter is replaced by less than soothing words. What just happened here?! All things were going well! Who got off the train to "happy town?" And, what direction is this train now headed in exactly?!

Ever think about how parenting is a constant test of your patience and how it exposes you? The morning starts out great - smiling faces welcome mom as she gives the 'good morning greeting' (okay so I have 1 out of 2 who honestly start out this way). And then...hungry tummies take over your precious children and the list of demands is initiated. It's as though a flip of a switch has now activated the 'get it for me now or else sequence.' You recognize the look in their faces, and are cognizant this is nothing to mess around with! It has never been more high stakes than in this very moment. You must move fast with precision and efficiency. There is absolutely no room for error! And just like that it happens... The business mentality takes over and you've gone from lovin mama to conquering task master. Perspective drips away and what follows is less than God-centered. We've all been there. Your head feels like it's going to explode! And then you sigh thinking to yourself, "Ah, I thought I was doing so well too!" You shake your head and wonder if there's hope for you...

With God there is exactly just that - hope AND grace. And here's another amazing thing about our God. He forgives us when we feel shame and embarrassment over the way we've acted. And He gives us grace to counter with the forgiveness. I'm so undeserving of the gift, but He gives it to everyone because of who He is! He lets me know He is there, ready to forgive. There is nothing He won't forgive when we repent and confess. He says, "Start again." He tells me to quit striving for perfection and to take one step at a time. With an attitude like this I can (and will) make progress. It's okay not to be perfect. It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay to make mistakes.

You see, God looks for what's in our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). I certainly don't wake up with high hopes to lose my patience by 8 am and cloud my head with as many negative thoughts as is humanly possible in order to be the best me-centered decision-maker that day. I think God knows what we're up against (aka this thing called 'sinful human nature'). Who and what I hope to be like each and every day is Jesus. I want to exhibit the Fruits of the Spirit and live like Jesus did (Galatians 5:22-23).

A Grace I Never Knew

 

Exposed, vulnerable and bare

You come to where I am and meet me there.

 

In failure and loss,

You gently pull me to the cross.

 

In weakness and struggle the path is revealed and made clear.

It is what has brought me here.

 

On my knees I bow before You - weak and with nothing in hand.

With a loving gaze, You gently pick me up to stand.

 

You look me in the eyes and tell me, "My grace has always been enough.

Never have I expected you to handle it all - to be so tough.

 

It is where you are weak

That I can begin to speak.

 

It is in failure, down on your knee

When you are able to truly see.

 

For it is where you are weak and in the obstacle you face.

It is then you understand My gift of grace." 

Journey

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," 'declares the Lord.' "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  

Isaiah 55:8-9

 

Patience has never been one of my more refined fruits of the Spirit. One might see the potential problem here, considering I am a single mom raising two very young children who require exuberant amounts of patience. Ah, yes, I do believe God has a sense of humor...But, more than that, He knows what I need to learn. I'm beginning to see things differently in this new season of my life.

 

Consider something with me for a minute...If Heaven is our true home (and where perfect lives), then I sure have a lot to learn before I get there. Maybe this earthly life (struggles included) is preparation for home. I can't be in Heaven with less than the required amount of patience (other fruits of the Spirit also included - love, self-control, faithfulness, joy, peace). Looked at from this perspective, Jesus has a lot of refining to do in me. And one of the ways I believe He does this is through our struggles and suffering. It doesn't exactly make sense to us, but then again God's ways are far above our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

 

I try to remind myself of this, especially on the trying and difficult days. There are still days when it seems to rain all day long and that storm cloud follows me wherever I go. I go right. It goes right. I go left. It proceeds left and tugs at my heel. I do so well and then it feels like I back track. I cry out to the Lord perplexed by my state. I wonder why I'm here again, and then I feel disappointed that I'm not trusting God to be in complete control of my life. Patience. In God's perfect timing. Surrender.

 

I go through the questions: Where is my focus? On God? On me? On what the world tells me I should be? I pull out God's Word and start reading. I'm reminded that God has more for me to learn yet. It's a process. It's a journey. I may not like the path I'm on. My fleshy side reminds me of this daily. But, then I refocus my thinking to center on the premise that God is trying to teach me something through this. He has promised a future of hope (Jeremiah 29:11). It is a daily, true exercise in "mind-control."

 

Journey

Oh, Lord, how much longer must I suffer?

The path I'm on does not get easier but becomes tougher.

 

In anguish and despair,

My hope is fading and along with it my desire to care.

Why can life seem so unfair?

 

How much longer must I wait,

And be resigned to this feeble state?

 

I seek You out.  I pray.

But the suffering continues day after day.

 

"Have you forgotten My ways are not your ways.

I did not promise, on this earth, painless days.

 

I've called you to come out from the comfort you once knew.

Like a willing servant you listened and therefore spiritually grew.

 

Did I not bring you from out of that dungeonous pit?

My child, do not worry. Do not quit.

 

I know this journey you are on is long.

But I need for you to keep going - to be strong.

 

There are still things I need for you to learn in order to become wise.

Only then will you be able to stand up and fully rise.

 

I know you are lonely and in despair.

But, hold on, you are almost there.

 

Walk with Me. Do not cast Me aside.

It is in Me and to whom you can confide.

 

Keep your eyes focused on Me.

Close them shut, quiet your mind and you will see.

 

There I am standing with outstretched arms.

My words are simple. Do not be overcome with such alarm.

 

You are My chosen one.

With you, I am not done.

 

You are different, as you've always known.

I have special plans for you that will not be overthrown.

 

Your path is not the same.

You do not need worldly fortune and fame.

 

I am what you need.

I will supply and your mouth I will feed.

 

Cast from your life envy and greed.

By doing such you will from worry be freed.

 

Look not at the world around you to define who you are.

I give you meaning and purpose and that makes you My star.

 

When I am in you, light from you pours out.

You belong to Me, let there be no doubt.

 

Now, it is time to get up and go.

I am with you on this journey. This you must always know. 

Refuge

"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me."

Psalm 31: 1-2

 

"Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak."

Psalm 31: 9-10

 

 

It is truly amazing what God does when I take it all too Him. I can be completely exhausted and feel overwhelmed, but He gives me the strength I need. He answers those who call out to Him in their affliction (Job 36:15, Psalm 91). It is so incredibly mysterious and unexplainable in a human sense. As a single parent, it is so easy to feel weak, overburdened and overwhelmed. We wonder, "Will I make it through?" I've learned that the answer to this question depends on who I ask. In the Lord, the answer is always "yes!" And, for those who wait and call upon Him, He provides joy, peace and wisdom. If I rely on myself or look to the world to answer this question, I am met with even more exhaustion, frustration and disappointment.  

 

When I read His Word, He speaks to me. He comforts me. He restores me. He fulfills my empty cup. And, I am humbled. I am amazed by His great love for me. My weaknesses, in Him and because of Him, turn to strengths. My sorrow turns to elation. My emptiness is filled. My heavy-laden spirit soars. My worry turns to freedom. All of these things are because of the Lord. He gives me His grace. He shows me his love, kindness and mercy.

 

The Lord Sustains Me

 

When I feel I've had enough

And everything seems too tough,

 

The Lord calls to me.

"Come, I will set thee free."

 

When I'm exhausted and have nothing more to give,

The Lord beckons me and tells me He can make me live.

 

When my spirit feels heavy-laden and low,

The Lord draws near to me never letting go.

 

When it all seems too much and I just want to give up,

The Lord refills and overflows my once empty cup.

 

When I feel weak and my circumstances appear bleak,

The Lord provides the words to speak.

 

When I worry if I'll make it through,

The Lord instructs me - He shows me what to do.

 

"Come to Me, you who are weary and worn down.

Remember, it is I who wear the crown.

 

Those who fear upon the Lord and come to Me,

Their eyes will be opened to see.

 

For when you with your heart believe,

You are then ready to receive.

 

The mysteries of the Lord are great,

For those who upon Me do wait.

 

Only I am able to provide what you look for.

Seek Me and what you ask will be given when you knock upon My door.

 

The world will look at you in disbelief.

For they cling to the world's great thief to provide them with relief.

 

I will provide you with new and eternal life.

My greatest gift will be to take you from this earthly strife.

 

Only I can restore.

Seek Me and you will find your heart's desire for more."